حَسْبِىَ اللهُ لَآ إِلٰهَ إِلَّا هُوَ ۖ عَلَيْهِ تَوَكَّلْتُ ۖ وَهُوَ رَبُّ الْعَرْشِ الْعَظِيْمِ
(التوبة : 129)

Allah is sufficient for me. None has the right to be worshiped but He, in Him I put trust and He is the Lord of the Mighty Throne.

People globally are living through unprecedented and extraordinary times. Very few have remained untouched by a virus sweeping through our towns, cities, and indeed homes.
Such is the mysterious nature of COVID 19 that it leaves some asymptomatic or mildly unwell; yet others become severely ill, and many sadly pass away.
In these uncertain times the only thing that gives rest to trembling hearts is remembrance of our Lord Allah سبحانه و تعالى . Yet again we are brought to focus on who is really in charge, who knows what the future holds in store for us. Subhan’Allah.
Only when we submit completely and utterly, are we able to function in any semblance of normalcy.
Earlier this year, as my family and I relaxed on holiday, chatting about anything and everything, conversation turned to a new kind of virus. Coronavirus had spread in Wuhan, China, and there were about 4 cases that had emerged in the UK. Little did we know we will soon be in the thick of it like countless other families.

At that time I didn’t know my husband, who is an orthopaedic surgeon would be stopping most of his clinical commitments to focus on emergencies. I didn’t know his work rota would be called COVID Rota, that his work schedule would change on a weekly basis. That there would be no distinction between a weekday and a much awaited nice weekend.
I didn’t know this mystery virus mostly targets males who are over 50 and of BAME origin, and that I would give profound thanks to Allahﷻon his return from work every single day.
I didn’t know one of our main concerns would be to have adequate PPE, that hospitals will have dangerously low supplies, and that we would be procuring our own just in case.

Nor did I know my son who is a junior doctor and only graduated last year would be actively on duty in Covid wards in a few months. That his new placement in AMU ward, which he was so looking forward to will not materialise. That he and I would be talking about how Allahﷻ‘s plans are always better than ours, He knows what is best for us and we must put our complete trust in Him ﷻ.

I didn’t know my daughter who had just finished medical school finals, would be graduating as a doctor early and be fast-tracked. Nor did I know I would draw strength from her resolve to help when she decides to start her Foundation years training before she had to. That I would want to hold her tight and not let her go, but I would anyway, entrusting her to my Lordﷻ, knowing she will be helping covid positive patients.

I didn’t know I would be worrying about what university life will be like for my youngest daughter who is due to start her degree later this year, Insha’Allah.
Such is the life of a mother and wife, when each and every cell of your being wants to keep your family under your wings. But deep inside you know who the true Lord and Master is. Your self-indulgence in wanting to keep them with you is just a manifestation of a tiny percentage of love, but your and their Lordﷻloves them more than you can ever do.

My Rabb has made me see how important those small things in life are that I took for granted. Did the sky always look so beautiful, a deeper cerulean blue than I remembered, or had I forgotten to look up and take in the serenity of clouds floating across it?

Alhamdulillah despite all this upheaval there have been many many moments of تشكر ( gratitude).
Ahumdulillah for more family time as everyone’s social lives come to an abrupt halt, for glorious weather, for a beautiful Ramadan, for a peaceful Eid, for social media ( so important for keeping in touch with wider family and friends), daily reassuring phone calls with parents – for their Duas and love, for a lot of helping hands around the house. A mother can definitely get used to this.

As I write this, the UK stands at highest coronavirus related death rate per capita in the world. The threat to life and health is still very real, and we all have to be extremely vigilant, for ourselves, our families, and our healthcare staff.
May Allahسبحانه و تعالى have mercy on us all. Aameen

 

By Saima Ismail